Bar and Bat Mitzvah Party Planning, Bar and Bat Mitzvah Planning Guide, Planning Tools

The Ultimate Bar and Bat Mitzvah Planning Checklist

Feeling a little stressed just thinking about how to plan a Bar or Bat Mitzvah? Relax. We’re here to help.

We’ve prepared a checklist that will help keep you on track. Even if you’re a little late starting, you’ll catch up. So don’t worry. It’s going to be a great day!

Want to manage your Budget, To-Do’s, Guest List, and RSVP’s all in one place? Access our entire suite of FREE Bar and Bat Mitzvah planning tools here.

Now, let’s get started!

1-2 Years Before

Set a Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. Work with your Rabbi to select a date that doesn’t conflict with religious holidays. You may also want to avoid overlapping with school breaks, when families are away.
Determine what type of celebration you want. A lavish Saturday night affair? A back yard brunch? There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate this milestone.
Set a budget. How much does a Bar or Bat Mitzvah cost? You can start playing with numbers using our budget calculator.
Make a rough guest list. In order to start researching venues, you’ll need to know approximately how many guests you’ll have. Our free guest list manager makes it easy to create distinct guest lists across multiple events (morning service, Kiddush luncheon, evening party, Sunday brunch, etc.).

Research and hire an event planner. A seasoned Bar/Bat Mitzvah planner can bring your vision to life and make sure things run smoothly.
Pick a party theme or color scheme. Let the fun begin! You’ll find ideas and inspiration throughout our site.

Research and book a venue. Do you need a venue just for the party? Or perhaps a single location where you can host both your service and celebration?

Research and hire a photographer/videographer. Find a photographer with experience shooting Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. Determine if their style, personality and pricing are a fit for you.

10-12 Months Before

Research and hire a caterer. You can skip this step if your venue requires you to use their catering service. Be sure to ask about kid-friendly and adult menu options.
Reserve a Kiddush luncheon space at the synagogue. Ask if there are resources available to help with set-up, since you’ll be busy inside the service.
Research and hire a DJ or musicians. An experienced Bar or Bat Mitzvah DJ/MC knows how to keep teens engaged and on the dance floor.
Finalize your guest list. Start collecting emails, phone numbers and mailing addresses.
Reserve a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests. You’ll want a location that’s convenient to the weekend’s festivities.

7-9 Months Before

Find a tutor to learn the Torah portion and prayers. Inform your Rabbi or tutor of any special learning needs.

Choose a Mitzvah Project. Help you child brainstorm a meaningful Mitzvah Project that illustrates the Jewish values of repairing the world and showing compassion for others.
Set up a Bar/Bat Mitzvah website. Create your Mitzvah website on Simply Mitzvahs and include details about the service and party. In addition, you can use your website to spread awareness about your Mitzvah Project and invite others to join the cause.

Send out Save-the-Date card or email. Some people use the same designer as their invitations. Be sure to include a link to your Mitzvah website for additional details.

Order Bar/Bat Mitzvah invitations and “Thank You” cards. Choose from traditional or modern designs. Also, decide if you want to give a sneak peek of your party theme in the invitation or save it as a surprise.

Start planning other weekend festivities. Will there be a Shabbat dinner, Kiddush luncheon, or Sunday brunch?

Finalize party theme and create a mitzvah logo. A good Mitzvah logo is a reflection of your child’s personal style and interests, and can be used on party favors, décor, dance floor decals, and so much more.

Research décor ideas. Find inspiration on our site and save your favorites to your Simply Mitzvahs dashboard.

Research and hire additional entertainment. Whether it’s a photobooth, airbrush artist, or poet, there are lots of unique entertainment options available!

4 – 6 Months Before

Book décor and rentals. Whether you’re looking for linens, lounge furniture, or giant lollipop props, it’s time to place your order!

Book lighting and AV. Lighting can completely transform a space and set the mood. Also, be sure someone is on-site to test your montage/video and make sure it plays properly during the party.
Purchase decorations. From basketball themed centerpieces to boho votives, these are the design details that turn a blank room into a theme party.

Order a tallit and tallit bag. A quality tallit will stay in your family for years and even generations to come.
Buy tefillin for your son. Choose a reputable vendor who can explain your options and the differences in materials.
Order kippot. From suede, to satin, to eco-conscious seed paper, the kippot materials and colors can be tailored to your child’s theme or personal taste.

Order party favors for adults and kids. Check out our Bar/Bat Mitzvah Party Favor Ideas for inspiration at every price point.

Start gathering photos for the montage. Aim for 125 images maximum. Gathering and sorting takes longer than you might expect. Start early!

Schedule a portrait session. These professional photos of your child can be used on the Mitzvah website, the cover of your program, the sign-in board, the montage and more.

Arrange transportation for out-of-town guests. Whether it’s a limousine, shuttle or ferry, there are plenty of options to get your guests to the events.

Finalize your food menu. This includes everything from the plated meal to the soft serve truck that’s rolling up at 10pm.
Hire a bartender if your caterer does not offer one. Decide on your drink menu. Pro tip: ChatGPT is great for brainstorming signature cocktail names!

2 – 3 Months Before

Address and assemble invitations. Be sure to weigh one to determine the correct postage.
Buy postage or personalized stamps. Don’t forget to place stamps on the RSVP cards AND the invitations.

Mail invitations 8 weeks before the event. Set up a method for tracking RSVPs or use our free RSVP tracker.

Mitzvah project check-in. How is you child coming along? Do they need any support?

Purchase attire. Make sure your family has outfits for the service and party, and that you allow time for alterations.

Book hair and makeup appointments. Determine if you want beauty services for both the portrait shoot and the Mitzvah day. Check out these talented beauty pros in our directory.

Plan candle lighting ceremony. This is entirely optional and not as popular as it once was. You don’t need to have 13 candles. It’s perfectly fine to have fewer candles and keep the ceremony short but meaningful.

Assign aliyot honors to family and others. Gather the Hebrew names of participants and give them to the Rabbi.

Order candles. You may need these for the Friday night candle-lighting service as well as the party on Saturday.
Create a floor plan. Determine where cocktail hour, dining, dancing, and entertainment will be set up. Be sure everything fits and that you have electrical outlets where you need them.
Order menu cards. These are for the Shabbat dinner and/or party.
Write toasts and speeches. Don’t stress. You got this. Feeling stuck? Find talented speech writers to help you sound your best.

Hire security. This may be required by your venue, or might simply be your personal choice for peace of mind.
Design program booklet for the service and have it printed. Your synagogue may have a template for you to use.

Purchase guest sign-in book/poster and two high quality (no-smudge) pens or Sharpies. Make arrangements for an easel if necessary.
Purchase card box. This provides a dedicated place to collect the cards you receive from guests and keeps them from getting lost.

Order cake and/or challah. Determine quantities needed for each of the weekend’s festivities. Note that kosher bakeries will be closed Friday afternoon through Saturday for Shabbat.

Submit song playlist and forms to DJ/band. Create your Bar/Bat Mitzvah playlist of must-have songs and specify if you want the clean version.
Provide shot list to photographer. This is your list of must-have photos. It’s helpful to assign a point person to help gather family for pictures.

Create the montage. Aim to keep the montage under 10 minutes so you don’t lose people’s attention.

1 Month Before

Call guests who haven’t RSVP’d. Collect their RSVP, including meal selection.
Make a seating chart and create place cards. Keep blank place cards on hand in case you need to make any last-minute additions or adjustments.

Create a detailed timeline for your event. Share it with your venue/vendors to make sure they are aligned on the game plan.
Confirm venue received all vendor COI’s (certificate of insurance). Most vendors are accustomed to providing this.
Coordinate rehearsal time with your synagogue. This typically occurs during the two weeks preceding the service and parents of the B’nai Mitzvah student are asked to attend.
Schedule dress/suit fittings. Bring the undergarments and shoes you plan to wear with the outfit.
Assemble welcome baskets for out-of-town guests. It’s fun to include an item that has local flavor, such as an artisanal snack or drink from your city.
Assemble bathroom baskets for venue. From tissues and Tums, to individually wrapped breath mints or ibuprofen, your guests will appreciate the thought.
Make a charitable donation in honor of your Rabbi. Include a hand-written thank you note expressing gratitude for their guidance and support.
Purchase a gift for your tutor. A gift card and a thoughtful note will do.

1 Week Before

Have the entire family try on their outfits for the service and party. Make sure everything fits, is steamed/pressed, and that you have all accessories.
Hold dress rehearsal at the synagogue. Make sure everyone is clear on the flow of the service.
Have a formal family photo shoot at the synagogue. Photography might not be permitted on the day of the actual service (if Saturday).
Give final guest count to venue/caterer. Reiterate any food allergies.
Send final floor plan and seating chart to the venue. Make sure they are clear on the layout.
Reconfirm all vendors, including hair and make-up. Be certain your vendors are paid in full.
Prepare cash tips for vendors and waitstaff. Organize them into individually labeled envelopes.
Assemble “Oh No!” supplies. Think ibuprofen, antacids, stain remover pen, and safety pins.
Deliver welcome baskets to hotel. Help your tired travelers get into celebration mode!

Day Before

Drop off décor to the venue. Bring place cards, menus, party favors, bathroom baskets and any other items.
Arrange welcome table at synagogue. This may include your guest book, pens/Sharpies, kippot, flowers, etc.
Pack a bag with essentials. Don’t forget a copy of your speech, bottled water and your “Oh No!” kit.
Get a good night’s sleep. The big day is almost here!

Day Of

Have a good breakfast. Drink water to stay hydrated.
Offer encouragement and praise to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child. You’ve all worked so hard for this.
It’s time to celebrate! Mazel Tov!